it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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