I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
