bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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