Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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