I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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