I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
