i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
