First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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