Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
