remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i came on her dog
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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