And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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