I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
