Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
