Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
