It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
