eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
