i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
nutella sex= disaster
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
