operation harelip BJ is a go
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
