i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this will be a night to untag.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
