No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
