His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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