Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
