It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
