is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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