i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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