then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
