my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
