would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
