Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
