so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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