I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
