I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
