I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
