Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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