Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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