New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Send help, water and tortillas.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
