You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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