Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
