I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
