what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
