birth control should be required to get into college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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