I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
