If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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