ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
