So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
