Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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