She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
