have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
