is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
