whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
