fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
