i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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