Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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